First, I have to get this out of the way. There are only FIVE (5!) more days until my babies come back home to me!!! If you don't know already, they've been in Florida with my in-laws for the past month. What was suppossed to be a two week vacation for them has turned into a month long sojourn. I've taken to crying myself to sleep at night because I need them near me so desperately! I am anxious to the point of chewing my nails to nubs...but my wait is almost over! I think we'll have to figure something else out for next summer, because MOMMA doesn't like this one bit:)
This afternoon B and I went to play 9 holes at Oak Hills. Most times we get a cart, but we've taken to walking a lot more lately. It can be very tiring, especially on days like today when the heat is near suffocating....but the walk is still an enjoyable one. I love walking outside, trekking up those steep hills, treading through bunkers *when the need arises:)*, and feeling the hot sun on my face. But my favorite part of walking the course is that I can really soak in all the nature is offering me. The course is very large and set back into the country, so there are no construction noises or angry car motors to pollute the sound. If you stand still you can hear the wind blowing through the trees. You can hear birds calling to each other....and each response. You can hear an acorn fall as it hits each branch and knocks a few leaves off on it's descent. It is such a treat for me to see a tiny rabbit nibbling on the blackberry bushes that baracade the forest that surrounds the course.
I spend a lot of time thinking in the silence.....silence that is broken only by the occasional ping of ball hitting metal. I spend a lot of time noticing things that I somehow forget to notice when I am away from nature in it's near truest form. I love how nature has it's own special way of speaking to you in rustles, caws, amd chirps. I was standing next to a small marsh waiting for B to make his next hit when I heard something in the water. I moved closer and it stopped. So I stood still for another minute to see if I would hear it again. Sure enough, I did...and I moved closer to see what was making this bubbling sort of noise. When I moved, it stopped...again. I did this a few times with the same results before I decided to just.....stand still.
My resolve was rewarded when I saw these two small turtle emerge from the green moss covering the edge of the water. One was bigger than the other and was carrying the small one on it's back. Now, I have no clue as to why one turtle would be on another's back....but the smaller one appeared to be a baby, so I will assume that is the reason. The large turtle waddled from the water and when it stopped, the smaller one slid off. I stood there in amazement.....and then in surprise as I watched the smaller turtle go right back into the water on it's own.
Now to be honest, I have no idea what those two turtles were doing. I am sure there is some scientific reason behind their actions, but I don't care to google it:) I stood there thinking how lucky that little turtle was to have someone to hold onto in that thick, murky, moss covered water. Perhaps it was a bit harder on that small turtle to swim through it on his own? I don't know.....but I applied it to life.
So often I catch myself wanting to do it all...to tackle those big obstacles that life puts in my way...all on my own. I've learned over the past 2 years that wanting to do that is normal, but nearly totally unrealistic! I am a stay at home mum and have been since my girl was born. I think that AS a stay at home mom, I have this drive to be the "Alpha-mom" who can do it all and never break a sweat. For so long I tried...and usually came up lacking or more displeased with myself than I was in the beginning. It took quite some time for me to realize that I can't do it ALL on my own. I need others to trust in, to lean on....to depend on.
Even with the lessons I've learned, I have caught myself doing what the little turtle did once he was carried on shore......getting off, turning around just to crawl back into the mess he was just brought out of. But then, maybe he learned a lesson about HOW to go through the marsh by holding on to the bigger turtle's back.....I don't know. But it's nice to wonder:) I do hope I always remember to keep a bigger turtle close by when I am going through something in my life that I don't quite know how to deal with.
I just wanted to share my thoughts about the sound of silence.....silence in nature......oh the things we could learn if we just shut our mouths and really listened sometimes:)