coming soon.....

Brooke got her ears pierced yesterday....I'm posting pictures later :)


Family fun.....

We went to Saluda Shoals today for Trane's family fun day. We had a BLAST! The kids played in the splash falls, on the bouncers, in the park (they LOVED the rock wall), and got their face's painted. Brandon and I played bingo (with the help of the kids) but we didn't win anything. We DID win in the raffle though.....actually, all four of us did!!! The kids won toys, I won a Spin Spa, and Brandon won an MP3 player (which I have already laid claim to!! HEY! I need it for the gym!! lol) We had a really great time today.....I enjoyed spending the entire day with my little family, meeting some of the people Brandon works with, and having fun in the hot hot sun!


letting out a (long held) breath

I am so excited for tomorrow night!

Greys's Anatomy and The Office are baaaaaaaaack!!!! I have been impatiently waiting all summer for my favorite shows to come back on, and the wait is finally over! yehawwww

Ok, today....here's what is on my mind.

My big pet peeve of the day/week/ok, of my LIFE, are people who say they are one thing, but then prove themselves wrong when something trivial happens. If you say you are an easy going, devil may care person, don't get yourself tied up in knots when things don't go your way (because you've just contridicted yourself BIG time). What is even funnier to me is when people "proclaim" to wear a certain "tag" but so blatantly do and say things that go totally against what they SAID they were just a week earlier.

Me for instance. I am one of those rare people who don't get offended by other people. The only people that can offend me or hurt my feelings are people that I ALLOW to hurt me or offend me. Those people are only those that are closest to me, those whose opinions matter most :) I like to be able speak my thoughts and share my beliefs without fear of ridicule or harassment. Maybe this is reaching for something greater than what most people are.....but I respect the thoughts and opinions of others. While I may not agree with what they say, it doesn't change my feelings of them as a person, as a friend. We are a world full of people with billions of varying thoughts and opinions. If we all shared the same ones, wouldn't our world be so boring? and wouldn't it be so George Orwell??

Back to what I was saying..... I guess I just wish that when people say they are one thing...when people point out to others that they are a certain "type" of person......that they would realize that there are other people out there just like them, and other people out there that are totally opposite them~~and we all need to respect each other's thoughts and opinions. Don't get upset when someone points out something that you're doing wrong....don't get offended when someone says something that you don't agree with.

No matter how outspoken or brazen I can be, I've learned there is a time to keep my mouth shut. There is a time and place for EVERY conversation.....I guess learning that comes from experience....experience of hurting others with my words, experience of being hurt by others words. And have now fear......sometimes keeping your mouth shut even HELPS you remain true to yourself :)


cleaning....as usual

So I am taking a short break from cleaning out my garage....AGAIN! Why do I feel the need o clean my garage once a month?? Let me tell you....

My kids love love LOVE to play in there and drag things out of boxes....discover "new" things that mommy has hidden away for birthdays or Christmas. They love to look at our Chirstmas ornaments, and play with plastic Easter eggs that I save so I wont' have to buy new ones next year. So there is always a mess in my garage.

This week I have been doing some serious purging.....I had a yard sale with some friends yesterday and made 40 dollars. :) But I STILL left with a few boxes of things that no one else wanted :( So I freecycled it all :) and it's now on my porch waiting pickup......my garage is looking better and I am feeling GREAT about getting rid of more things.

I am soooo not the packrat. I hate saving most things....I don't like the kids to keep their toys more than a year (unless of course it's a FAV or it's something special), I like to clean out closets and purge often.....only when I "purge", most things end up in the garage only to get pulled back into my house NEXT year (or when the kids find it)

So I am proud of my little self. Now I have more room for more stuff.....and that means....

I get to go shopping :)


questions, always questions

My stepmom's sister, Bonnie, is in the hospital. She was admitted on Thursday after she passed out at home and stopped breathing....two times. She was brought in and her family was told that she'd had a heart attack. She regained consciousness and seemed to be stable when she pretty much just crashed. hard. She is now in a coma, on a breathing machine (life support technically), and the doctor's can't explain what is wrong with her. There has been talk of an irregular heartbeat, but nothing certain.

So there lies a 36 year old mother of three. Two girls, 15 and 13, and a boy, 2 weeks old. A good mom. A stay at home mom who has homeschooled her children, teaches them the basics of life and church and a belief in God. An amazing example to her daughter and other young moms around her.

See her? There she lies in a hospital bed, her fate unknown and her life depending on the electric lines that keep her machines on.

I have had a number of things happen in my life that lead me to question God and His "plan"....I spend much of my days wondering where exactly do I fit in in His great big scheme of things. Why do GOOD people die, so senselessly, unexpectedly, or so terribly.......when there are child molesters, rapists, perverts, murderers....who contribute NOTHING to humanity, who go on to live for YEARS? Where is the justice? What is the reason? I have heard SO many times that "God has a plan" "There is a reason for everything"......but after losing my brother so unexpectedly....quickly...and then losing my mother so slowly, painfully, and terribly.....I am at a rope's end trying to understand the meaning of it all.

Sure I"get" that we all live, and in order to "live" we all must one day die. But why is it that so many of the good people I know and love are the ones leaving before the "bad" people I know? There are people in my own famliy that I sometimes scratch my head over as I see them doing horrible things...living horrible lives....yet they are whole and healthy.

And why WHY do I get stuck tossing questions like this over and over in my head. Is this MY purpose in life? To be constantly searching for the answers to questions that I know can never be answered in the way that I want them answered? Why is my heart, MY soul in a constant unrest missing my mom, my brother......is it MY purpose to keep their memories alive? to remind the people that I love that my mom and brother didn't LIVE in vain....that I still think about them and miss them everyday?

I just want to find MY purpose.....and after the 9 years that my brother has been gone, 2 my mother....I still feel like I am wandering aimlessly through life.....doing things that don't add up to much, not contributing enough to the world around me....not doing MY part as a human. I remember how inherantly GOOD my mom and brother were, and I know that I am not like that. I wish I could be and I am constantly trying to find a way to make a difference in SOMEONE'S life. But would I KNOW that I were making a difference?

I'm just tired of questioning God.....sifting through my list of reasons......and they all fall short of good enough for me.

I worry today for Bonnie. For Hannah, Lindy, her husband and her new baby boy. This family that is being ripped down the center over something that is above their control....I worry for those girls who will surely have questions....and I worry that they will end up like me.

Cynical, searching for faith and something to believe in........and questioning everything I do.......


back in the blog of things

Ok, so I have to admit...I got caught up in the hype of "myspace" and have since abandoned my old place here on Blogspot....but I have decided to make a comeback!!! I know you're clapping and cheering.....but really, don't hurt yourself....hehe

So, today I went to the gym and was sorely disappointed when I realized that I didn't get there in time to claim my spot on a bike. I have become addicted to spinning class (hellllO, burn 500 calories in 30 minutes!?? not many legs are being pulled to get ME there!) anyhow, I walked in and there was one lone bike in the corner and it had a "broken" sign lying on top. ughhhh. SO I spent 30 minutes on the treadmill, half of which I spent in a nice incline....ten minutes of which I spent in FULL incline. I burned 200 calories I think....bummmmmer, esp since I could have burned MORE in spinning class. But I have learned my lesson and will show up super early next class :)

The kids bus was THIRTY minutes late today. paranoid freak that I am....I borrowed Casey's phone (she lives in front of the stop) and called the school to find out what the heck was going on. This was day two of the bus running late. This was day THREE of me being Adderall free, so needless to say, I was (AM) running super low on patience. I really hope the bus is on time tomorrow or else the bus barn will be getting a very nasty phone call.....

Dinner tonight I made gizzards (nasssssty, but the hubby loves them. this from the pickest eater in the world.....oddly enough, he adores chicken innards. go figure) and salmon patties (croquettes for those more sophisticated than I). I have been craving them for a while so I gave in and suffered through the smell....and was rewarded with the sweet taste of salmon patties dipped in syrup. Salmon patties are a serious comfort food in my book. My momma always made them for me when I came home to visit.....along with french fried sweet potatoes. I miss those meals made by mom, but I am happy to say that I have perfected her recipe.....she'd be proud and would probably make me cook them for HER when I were to visit next...lol

Alrighty, day's over, kid's bathed, hubby ironing tomorrow's clothes, and now it's time for story. Tomorrow begins another "grueling" life in the day of Alisha.....stay tuned for more~~good night and good luck :)