tug'o war times two

dinnertime. Tarzan 2 in the DVD player. one kid is hungry (but only for mac n/cheese, extra milk please) , the other not (or too engrossed in his new movie to give his growling stomach a second thought). and me. the mom , torn between wanting to enjoy my hot bowl of food and wanting them to sit at the table sans any arguments (which doesn't allow for hot food). within the span of 4 minutes, i've (1) told the boy to get his bum at the table (NOW!), (2) the girl that no i will not warm her mac up, (3) the boy that he can sit in the living room but will have to finish his food sometime tonight or he won't get any popcorn during our Sat night movie, (4) the girl that no nana didn't make her mac with milk like mommy does and she'd better hush her whining or SHE won't get any popcorn, (5) revert to telling the boy that he better get his tail in his chair right this minute (or it's the room for you!), (6) back to telling my girl that if she'll hush i WILL put milk in her mac, (7) BACK to telling the boy that he's getting a spanking (and then, actually following up on that), listening to him cry at the dinner table, putting the movie on pause and...quiet. (why didn't i think of THAT in the first place??) all the while my MIL sat across from me prob thinking i am one spatic mom who can't make up her mind on how to control her grandchildren, my husband sat there pretending he can't hear a thing, and the dog making his rounds at the table begging for food. it's a constant tug of war in my head on how to properly discipline my children, and when i DECIDE on how to handle a situation, i usually feel like i messed up somehow. it's as if i forget how i handled the exact same situation the day before and i have to start all over again. on one hand i think i'm not hard enough (my stop that right now's! and 'one more time!!' warnings have started to wax cold...) and others, i think "oh my God, i have turned into some maniac monster mom that my kids will blame all of their shortcomings on someday. thing is, you never read about these moments in those new mommy books. they don't warn you that once you become a parent, you begin to doubt and second guess virtually everything you say and do. if i get mad at the driver in front of me and say something as simple as "STUPID guy! get off the road!" my daughter has fits, because "mommy, you're not allowed to say stupid becuase you can hurt his feelings" or "mommy said stupid!!!" and then commence to calling each other "stupid!! you are stupid!!" but my fav has to be when i get mad and just make a grunt or a shhhheeeesshhh, brooke fills in the silence with, "mommy was he a stupid driver?" what's it all for? has my effort been wasted on my momentary lapse of mommy etiquette? this tug of war in my head is the toughest game i have ever played. it's me against two little people about 3 feet tall, and many days i feel like they've won and i am lying face down in the mud. but i can't give up. every morning i tighten my grip a little bit more, my footing is a bit more sure. and the tug. well, the tug really isn't all that bad.

good days

Brandon is doing mucho better! he is getting out of bed and walking around, eating much better *he had salmon tonight!, which is such a nice change from the chick noodle of late* he looks very good and our fingers are crossed that he will be home by Wednesday!
my diet....arghh! i was hoping that since my MIL is here is would be eating better and LESS, but so far, not happening. blahhhh. been eating out for every meal and it's not helping at all!! i have this horrible habit of finishing EVERYTHING on my plate *leftovers of a youth when my mother would tell me to clean my plate and not to waste food*. so now when we go out for dinner i have this maddening urge to eat the leftovers off of my husbands plate also as he never even eats HALF of his 12.00 plate of food. so, to solve this prob, i have decided to order soup/salad wherever we go. the prob here lies within the bread i am brought to sop up the soup with. i've been reminded why i prefer to cook and eat my OWN cooking in the comfort of my own home. *note* as i am typing this, i am slurping up a bowl of vanilla ice cream w/ choco chunks in it. i am eating from a kids bowl, but once again, proving i have no self control.if i keep at this rate, i will NOT be fitting into my size 10 clothes much longer. Q...is a 10 piece spicy salmon roll healthy and good for you? hope so, because that's what i had for dinner. and yes, i finished all 10 pieces. although, my son did eat one for me!! self control is on the menu for tomorrow
ok reading...i've been adding some good books to my list lately. some not so, and others GREAT! i'll list a few off the top of my head and upload the pics in a bit. i'll also need to look up the authors, so i'll post those with the pics later!
ok....
"1776" by David McCullough. haven't finshed this one, but i have this fierce love of all things historical. THIS book is history at its finest. it's a story of a single year, 1776, the year of the birth of a great nation. David McCullogh brings fresh life to a year in history that is so often watered down in textbooks. i'm fighting the urge to skip ahead to the end...love love LURVE this book and i give it 5 out of 5 stars!
"The Devil Wears Prada", don't have the authors name on hand (Jane Green i think), but it was an ok book. entertaining but not compelling. disappointing end because i have no idea what really happend with the main characters life. i prefer to read books that leave no q's unanswered, this one didn't pull it's weight here. fun read about a she devil of a boss, but even there i don't think there was enough she'deviling, just a lot of complaining from her new assistant. 1.5 of 5 stars
"Little Earthquakes" by Jennifer Weiner. i've yet to dislike anything she has written. i'm halfway through this one and i'm loving it. very cute book about babies and how these "little earthquakes" can really shake your life up! the story of four very different women who become friends while preggo, their lives and secrets. great book to keep by the nightstand. 3.5 of 5 stars.
"The Historian" haven't started this one, but i'm impatient to so i think i'll add number 3 to my current reading list (i'm known to be reading more than one book at a time. one for bed reading *usually one that doesn't require much thought*, one for outside when the kids are playing and i don't have to have all 5 eyes on them so i can be totally immersed in a GREAT read, and one odd/end book that i carry in the bathroom with me ...umm too much info, but anyhow)
"Prep" by Curtis Sittenfeld. finally finished this one, but only out of sheer determination, hoping that i would get some great nudge of enlightenment along the way. didn't happen. i was lead tediously though the high school years of a very average, mostly exasperating girl. the only thing i liked about it was the end, when i found out what all of her old school mates were doing at 30...read the first and last chapter of the book, you won't be missing anything and you'll have gotten the jist of the entire book. and saved yourself a lot of time. half a star out of 5.

I know i've read a lot more over the past few weeks that i haven't been posting, but since i keep a list i'll get it out and give you my input later!!

I took the kiddos to the State Museum on Friday as a reward for being sooooo good while we were stuck in wating rooms last week. we had such a nice time and i have hope that my kiddos will carry on my love for learning and HOLD ON TO IT through their school years! i look back and regret a billion times that i let youth and friends take place over learning....maybe that's why i gorge myself on as many odd and ends that i can now! right now we are on a "planets kick" and i am relearning (is that possible or even a word??!) things about the galaxy and the worlds around us. right now, i am fascinated by Mars.....if life every really existed there and COULD life ever exist there again? it's fascinating really.
well i've gone on enough and i think i've written enough to last the week....last i want to say....
HAPPY FATHER'S DAY TO MY DAD! I love you and i miss you already....wish i could be there with you this weekend and give you and Daryl grief about not wearing a helmet on those dirt bikes!!!! now you've given me something else to worry about!!! i'm sending 10 hours worth of hugs and love your way..........

too busy, sick man, visitors (here's the nutshell)

Been a while since my last post and here is why. my hubby has FINALLY go tthe ball rolling with fixing his lung problem and the past 2 weeks have been spent with him being home and trying to keep this house in some sort of order! he is NOW at the hospital after having surgery this afternoon and is doing well but is in ICU for the night and hopefully he will be moved to a room tomorrow evening. thats THAT in a nutshell. my inlaws are here and my MIL will be here for about a month. my dad and sandra came this past weekend to check on B and to see me and the kiddos. thats THAT in a nutshell. right now i am way too tired to even be ON here, but i am waiting on an important email for my FIL so i am trying to stay awake, even though i have to be UP at 7 again in the morn. oh the joys of living on about 10 hours sleep streched out over a 3 day period. gone are the days of normalcy, welcome insanity. i'll try to make time to catch up and make my blog interesting once again, but for now, basics will have to do! shel, i hope you are having a great summer, you need to e-me soooooon! (as in right now)....read a few new books the past 2 weeks and will post those sometime when hubby is home and stuck in bed. i'll leave you w/ one......"One Sunday Morning" by Amy Ephron, i read good reviews of it, but was terribly disappointed b/c the book was precitable and a bit boring. a waste of an hour if you ask me, but try it for yourself and lemme know how you like! also, keep sending me YOUR reviews and i'll pass them along to my book club...i need a new list of good books as the one that i am working on hasn;t impressed me all that much,ahhhh i'm shutting up and i'm off to bed.

it's a zoo

this is a pic of the kiddos with their friend Brent taken last week at the zoo..i think it is toooo cute! my friend Melinda had a lot more pix but this one sums them all up so it's the one i decided to post! see how long Brooke's hair is getting?? we had fun (and yes i got another pistachio ice cream! i really need to find out what brand they sell at the zoo b/c i lurve it!)
THE SUN CAME OUT TODAY!!!! that statement is deserving of all caps! the ground was still is bit yucky so we didn't go to the park, but we have Pooh Park in the plans for tomorrow...Brandon's going with us for the first time so hopefully he will feel like a walk in the woods b/c the kiddos (esp Brooke) have been begging to go and "search for waterfalls" can't wait to get out tomorrow!!!
weird news...freak me out news.....ok, you know that i cleaned a few houses when i lived in Fl while the kiddos were at pre-k? (boredom buster and easy money in my rainy day pile) anyhow, i cleaned for this man whom i thought was just a sweet lonely older man...he was on disability so he didn't work...he seemed a little odd but then who isn't odd in some way nowadays. anyhow, last night my mother in law (who knows him) called me to tell me he'd shot a woman and there is an APB on him in Panama City....!!??!??!??!?!what the!??! had me really freaked to know that the week before i moved here i cleaned his house for the last time, and when i moved, i'd passed it on to an older friend of my MIL's and she has been cleaning it since! no one knows why he did it (did he just snap or something!!?) but it's really weird b/c he always seemed like such a nice man!!!! ughh so glad i didn't give him a Christmas card afterall...
we cut open our first watermelon of the season today and it was yumyum! the kids wanted theirs cut into "big moons" and even Hobbes got in on the action! i got some really cute pics, but as i took them with a disposable, you can't see them!! nanana
hubby has been home all week long so naturally it's felt sort of like a vacation so i haven't gotten anything substantial done around here. take that back, i scrubbed my stove today and mopped the floors and cleaned the bathrooms. but not 4 hours after i did it all, my house is a zoo once again. arghhh the joys of being a wife and mom