11.30.2007

No regrets.....

I see the headline all the time, "No Regrets". It's very common and I'm sure we've all said it at one point in our lives. Yet I find it hard to imagine living...with no regrets, and often wonder what it says about the people who have none.

What would it be like to not regret eating half a roast chicken all by myself because it was so moist and yummy that I couldn't pull myself away from it? What would it be like to not regret NOT making better grades in school...not finishing college? What would it be like to not regret the fact that I went a full Mother's Day one year not telling my mom Happy Mother's Day? To not regret the time I yelled at my kids when my nerves were shot and I sent them off to bed without a kiss goodnight or a story to tuck them in? To not regret blasting a friend in a nasty blog that everyone read and picked apart? To not regret the fact that I didn't hug my brother goodbye the last time I saw him? To not regret telling my dad that I was moving out because he didn't agree with the choices I was making at the time?

To not regret telling half truths to my family and to others that I love when we first moved to Florida? To not regret going for almost a year not talking to my dad? To not regret losing touch with my cousins and not sticking to the plan we had for raising our kids to be as close as we were? To not regret listening to my instincts when they were telling me...to wait....to run? To not regret trusting my heart when it was telling me not to trust someone else? To not regret going 10 miles over the speed limit and being pulled over by a cop....another 180 bucks wasted! To not regret making more time to talk to my sister as she's grown up....here she is 16 and I still think of her as a little girl? To not regret....so many things that I still can hardly admit to myself.

While I don't believe that one can live without regrets....

saying that you live with no regret....isn't really about living with NO regrets. It's about living with the knowledge that you can forgive yourself when you mess up. Knowing that things happen in life that are out of your control. Knowing that you can forgive yourself..and learn from that regret.

Thank God that I have a heart that can recognize my wrong, regret it, ask forgiveness...or forgive myself....and in turn, gain a little wisdom to help prevent creating a new regret tomorrow.

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