The Middle Wife

*every now and again I come across something that gives me a giggle that I want to pass along. I know a lot of my mum friends read the blog, so I thought this the best way to share it! A girl from my Meetup group posted it today:)~ ENJOY!*

The 'Middle Wife' by an Anonymous 2nd grade teacher

I've been teaching now for about fifteen years. I have two kids myself, but the best birth story I know is the one I saw in my own second grade classroom a few years back.

When I was a kid, I loved show-and-tell. So I always have a few sessions with my students. It helps them get over shyness and usually, show-and-tell is pretty tame. Kids bring in pet turtles, model airplanes, pictures of fish they catch, stuff like that. And I never, ever place any boundaries or limitations on them. If they want to lug it in to school and talk about it, they're welcome.

Well, one day this little girl, Erica, a very bright, very outgoing kid, takes her turn and waddles up to the front of the class with a pillow stuffed under her sweater.

She holds up a snapshot of an infant. 'This is Luke, my baby brother, and I'm going to tell you about his birthday.'

'First, Mom and Dad made him as a symbol of their love, and then Dad put a seed in my Mom's stomach, and Luke grew in there. He ate for nine months through an umbrella cord.'

She's standing there with her hands on the pillow, and I'm trying not to laugh and wishing I had my camcorder with me. The kids are watching her in amazement.

'Then, about two Saturdays ago, my Mom starts saying and going, 'Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh!' Erica puts a hand behind her back and groans. 'She walked around the house for, like an hour, 'Oh, oh, oh!' (Now this kid is doing a hysterical duck walk and groaning.) 'My Dad called the middle wife. She delivers babies, but she doesn't have a sign on the car like the Domino's man. They got my Mom to lie down in bed like this. ' (Then Erica lies down with her back against the wall.)

'And then, pop! My Mom had this bag of water she kept in there in case he got thirsty, and it just blew up and spilled all over the bed, like psshhheew!' (This kid has her legs spread with her little hands miming water flowing away. It was too much!)

'Then the middle wife starts saying 'push, push,' and 'breathe, breathe. They started counting, but never even got past ten. Then, all of a sudden, out comes my brother. He was covered in yucky stuff that they all said it was from Mom's play-center, so there must be a lot of toys inside there.'

Then Erica stood up, took a big theatrical bow and returned to her seat. I'm sure I applauded the loudest. Ever since then, when it's show-and-tell day, I bring my camcorder, just in case another 'Middle Wife' comes along.


what i am making....

I am heading to Joanne's today to buy the stabilizer for my newest little project!! I have everything else I need....so at this point I am simply frustrated that I have to wait to start on it. I adore this purse and I have B*E*A*U*T*I*F*U*L fabric to make it with! I'll be posting pics of my progress. If my efforts are successful, and I know they will be because I have an incredible tutorial, I am sure to have a closet full of smashing hobo bags!!


The 3 LeaderShip Club

The kids' cousin, Anthony, has been spending more time with them now that school is out for summer. The plan is to have him over 2 days a week for the entire summer. They all have so much fun playing together and I have a blast listening to their little people converstations. Yesterday they they decided to form a club. Not just any club, mind you! This is "The Three Leadership Club", no other members allowed! They were wrapped up in their little world of making plans and dreaming up schemes....and it seemed to slip their minds that they really should ask their mom before they wrote *in permanent INK* the name of their club on their clubhouse. *I do think watching Little Rascals inspired them here....so my fingers are crossed that they will come up with some nifty way to con people out of some money as well!* Naturally, they got in trouble...but I couldn't help but laugh over the whole situation. I have to stop myself from being too harsh with them sometimes....especially when I tell them that it is THEIR playhouse and I want them to be creative with it and make it into something that is entirely their own:)

my buddy: bunny

I was FINALLY able to get an amazing shot of my bunny yesterday! I feed the little guy lettuce nearly every day, in hopes that he will someday see me and think, "Oh! It's the tall thing that gives me food everyday....I think I will see if I can get closer and actually take the food from those dangly things on the side of her body!"

ahh, yes. i dream of petting this bunny...but for now I am content with simply watching it from a *near* distance!!


The Great Cookie Caper

The target: A small pile of black and white cookies....creamy white center missing.

The culprit: Small black dog of the chihuahua breed. Notable traits: white mask around eyes, questionable snarl with right tooth overbite. At large, possibly armed and dangerous, especially if harboring stolen goods.

The crime: Grand Cookie Theft.

The proof:

Evidence was sufficiently distroyed, verdict will fall solely on the pictures taken during the crime.

webbie wednesday on a thursday

Again, didn't feel like blogging yesterday so I am doing my webbie wednesday on a thursday this week:) hmm, I may just start a trend!

My fav of the week is another that I've been in love with for a while now. It's WhistleStop Cafe. I don't remember how I came across this site, but I DO remember the recipe that made me ear mark it as a fav! It was sometime late last year when I found her recipe for FRESH pumpkin ravioli...I tried it and was amazed as to how easy it was to make fresh pasta and then stuff it with real pumpkin! I'd fallen in love with butternut squash ravioli, but Publix had stopped carrying it at the time, so I had to find an alternate to fill in the void:) Since then I have followed her blog and have come to realize that she cooks the way that I do. A mix of ALL sorts of food, with a heavy leaning toward the Southern style of cooking. Her cornbread recipe is to die for...there is a super easy Pad Thai recipe...tiramisu...and even a simple recipe for the great Southern delicacy, BOILED PEANUTS! *btw, I found a place to buy fresh green peanuts this week, so I am planning on trying that recipe out soon!* I do hope you check the site out...and VICKIE, there are loads of baking recipes there too:)~

*click on the pic for the link to the whistlestop site. from there you can access the CAFE site which is full of recipes broken down into categories. Enjoy!*

update. update

yeah...I was having a bad day yesterday and didn't feel like updating my blog. First I have to address the fact that my lovely lady friend Lori could not come to town this week due to the fact that the powers that be in the Army decided that Duane was unfit to take a vacation at the moment. No matter that he'd put in for it in, oh...FEBRUARY! Ah well, I am learning the heartbreak of the Army that I've been told of many times:)~ Alas, if it weren't for the dear old Army, I would never have met my Lori girl! So...to them I am thankful, albeit a bit perturbed with them *the powers that be in the Army* at the moment! Still, our fingers are crossed that the Schrier's will still be able to make the trip sometime this summer. If not...I may just ditch the Disney plans and head to Amish country so I can get my Lori fix AND view Ohio in the fall:)~ To D and L and kids....I love you guys and really wish you were here right now so the guys could be fishing and WE could be chilling on the beach amidst the smell of coconut and salt water!

For everyone else, check out this clever little pic that Lori made in memorandum of our would be vacation! You can see more on HER blog, LORI. Click on it:)~


{putting the brake on things}

so, after nearly singeing off my eyebrows yesterday evening *haven't blogged about that yet, but i will be soon*, and cleaning up my nephews puke this morning....i didn't think the day could get any worse.

until i actually ventured OUT into it.

as MY luck would have it, this was one of those days in which i actually had PLANS.

with people. *i know, YAY!*

alas, my first date with our meetup group is STILL on hold because of what someone upstairs had already mapped out for me:)~ now, the story....

i was leaving Hobby Lobby this morning, gearing up to pull up to the red light beside Publix when.....swwwwoooooshhhh.

Drum Brake

my breaks went out on me. i ended up spending over 3 hours in the holding room of Big 10 Tires....JUST the way I wanted to spend my afternoon. come to find out, the break shoes were dust, the pads down to metal, and one rotor was cracked.

still, i have to count my blessings here.....
1} the kids were DIVINE! my kids are so well behaved when we are in public and i was super proud of them today....considering we were stranded for over 3 hours:)~
2}the brakes went out on a nearly empty parking lot. *and not on a busy highway or when i was crossing said busy highway to hop into the median.
3} *perhaps the best of all*, the brakes went out dead center....BEHIND A TIRE SHOP!! seriously....i was nearly in front of the shops entrance!! wow. i just kinda sashayed the car into the curb where she came to a halt.

so...thank you to everyone looking out for me and my kiddos from way upstairs!! i am truly counting my blessings today:~)

webbie wednesday

cute website this week...full of crafty fun! best part about paperandink is that almost everything i've found on her site is simply crafted, easily made....even if you have ten thumbs and are lacking all creative skills:) enjoy!


new stuff!

Brooke lost a top tooth this week....finally!! She looks absolutely adorable.....but funny as well. Her other top tooth is loose, so....with the gap from the freshly lost tooth and the other one dangling sideways, she looks ten kinds of hillbilly! She can't say any word with an "f" in it either!! I love this stage, when they are losing teeth and growing the new, bigger ones. I have been looking forward to seeing her with those big front teeth...so the countdown is on for them to start growing in!!

*side note....Brooke doesn't put her teeth under her pillow, but in a small bowl NEXT to her pillow. The morning after the tooth fairy's visit she woke to $$ in the bowl and (to MY amazement because I SWEAR I did not put it there!) ....a teeny ball of silvery pink fibers! She almost started crying over the excitment of finding fairy dust in that bowl!! I was amazed as well....and thought how much fun it is to believe in the magic that is borne with childhood:)*