feeling a bit out of sorts 2day. can't stop thinking about mom....keep thinking that this time last year
my mom only had a little over two weeks to live and i was living my life like she would never die. bothers
me to no end. i called her everyday even though all i could understand was *i love you too*...that was enough.
if only i could hear her mumble that again. i was there the entire week before she died...and i never talked to her
about dying...almost as like if i talked about it with her, i was giving her permission to die. silly i know, but i guess
no matter how it all ended, i would have regrets. the last word i heard her say was my name......when dad came to lead me out of the hospital all i did was give her a little hug and kiss and say i'll be back tomorrow. if i'd known that
15 minutes down the road we'd be called back b/c she was GONE, i wouldn't have left. i'd have hugged her tighter
looked at her longer. something. ANYTHING. augh i am going crazy 2day. if you can get to her, go hug yours
today. call her and tell her how much you love her. tell her she's the most beautiful woman in the world. hold
those hard worked hands and kiss them....tell her you're sorry for all the times you never said thank you. ask her to
hold you on her lap one more time in her rocking chair even though you're bigger than she is...think of all the things
you would say once she's gone...and say them now.......i miss you mom!!!!!!!